BERTS

SOMETHING IMPOSSIBLE TO EXPLAIN

Mark was on his last day of the expedition. He, and the group which he was in charge of, had been sent to somewhere in the middle of the jungle in South America to study the consequences of the climate change. He woke up early this day to stretch his legs in the jungle and to enjoy those beautiful sights before getting into the plane. As he was walking further from the camp, the vegetation grew wilder. He knew the part of jungle where they were like the back of his hand, so he was not worried about getting lost. He also knew there were no wild animals around, as they had gone away the day the group of explorers came with the jeeps. Anyway, he was carrying his shotgun, just in case.

He walked into the thick vegetation; he wanted to reach a little stream he had seen days before, to take some pictures and then go back to the camp before the group was ready to go. He reached the stream before he had thought, so he continued walking a bit further. He walked about half a mile when he heard a strange noise similar to a child crying. He thought to himself that it could be a monkey or a kind of bird, but then he heard the weeping again, now closer and clearer. He held his gun tight ready to shoot and went behind some rocks where the noise was coming from. Very slowly and avoiding making much noise he peeped behind the rock and saw a child trapped by two stones. The child only wore a ragged native cloth around his waist, and his leg was bleeding. When the child saw Mark, he went native and began to shout filled with terror. Mark was speechless looking at the boy holding his gun aiming at him. Then he realised the situation, put his gun down and went towards the child to calm him down and to set him free. The boy fainted.

Mark brought the child to the camp and tried to wake him up. The doctor in the camp told Mark that the boy had lost much blood and that he needed a blood transfusion badly. They hurried to pack all the camp and went where the plane was waiting for them. In less than six hours the savage child was getting better in a room of a hospital in New York

All the members of the expedition were in the hospital wondering what to do when the boy woke up.

-Where does the boy come from? –asked one of the members knowing that no one there was able to answer such a question.

- It is a mystery- answered Mark. –We checked the maps and there’s no town or village round, the nearest is found one thousand miles away.-

-So, you are saying he came from out of the blue? That’s impossible to believe- said another explorer.

-Well, I know it must sound crazy, but according to our origins, can you tell me where the first human being comes from?

All the people in the room remained silent.             

With a Smile, She Handed Him the Trousers

Tom, wearing his most precious tuxedo, was walking around his apartment, looking repeatedly at his watch. He grabbed his mobile phone and called Liz;

-Hey Liz, Where are you?... I’ve called you at home, but your flatmate told me you had gone…-

-Ah! hi Tom!. I’m at the mall, shopping.

-Shopping? Don’t tell me you forgot about tonight?

-Tonight? Ah…, your speech at the conference! Of course not. How could I forget about that, you keep telling me…

- Well, I guess you are all dressed up; the conference starts in two hours…

-Don’t worry love, it only takes me a minute to get ready…

-Yes, sure!... Do you want me to pick you up?

-Ok, meet me at the front door… and relax, we won’t be late.

Tom hung up and went to get the keys of his convertible. He looked at his watch several times on his way to the underground garage. He got his car and went to pick Liz up at the mall.

Once there, he went to the front door to wait for her as she had told him to. But, for his surprise, she wasn’t there yet. “How can it be? she knows we are on a hurry” he thought. He waited there for about a fifteen minutes, and when he was about to call her with his mobile phone, he saw her carrying a lot of bags, with a smile on her face and waving to him.

-Hi, you are already here. I went to have a look at some shoes I saw while I was waiting for you to come- she said smiling.- well, do you feel nervous about your speech? You look great in this tuxedo!

-Thanks…Ehm, actually, I am a bit anxious about the conference, you know, I want everything to be perfect…

-It sure it will, you have been preparing that speech for almost two months, what can go wrong?

-Anyway, what’s all those bags? Sure you’ve spent a good time shopping?

 In their way to his car, Liz was showing Tom all she had purchased. She showed him a pair of red shoes, some ladies underwear and green trousers with golden flowers embedded.

-Aghh…! What a horror!- He shout referring to the trousers-  Haven’t I told you several times, as we have the same size for trousers, to get the nicer ones, so we can share them- He joked.

-You will love them when you see me wearing them.-she replied smiling

-Yes, of course. Shall we eat something before the meeting? I’m starving, and we still have some minutes left…

-Ok! What about a burger?

-A burger? I can’t go to a burger wearing a tuxedo?-

-Why not? I didn’t know it was forbidden…She joked.-

-You know what I mean, a burger is an informal place to have dinner…I’m becoming a prestigious professor tonight, what if someone sees me?

-Ah Tom, you and your stories!- it’s been ages since we last went to a burger, and anyway, who’s going to see you?

They went to the burger. The place was crowded but, even so, they managed to get a small table next to the door. As they sat down they saw a group of young   people at the table in the other corner waving to them

-Who are they, Tom?- she asked in surprise

Tom waved back to them -See? I’ve told you, they are a group of my students; sure they’ll go to the meeting too. –He said.

They started eating. Tom was not very comfortable trying to eat a burger without getting tomato sauce on his. But what really got on his nerves was listening to his students laughing out loud.

Relax, Tom! There’s still…. –Liz looked at her watch- …ten minutes before the meeting starts.

-Ten minutes?! -He shout – Let’s go, we’ll never make it.- He jumped up from his chair, but his trousers were caught on the table, and as soon as he tried to stand up his trousers tore. When he realised about what happened, his face turned bright red and he left running the shop towards the car.

After a few minutes Liz went to the car trying to stop her laughter.

-What am I going to do now?! The conference is in two minutes and my trousers are a mess…-

-Don’t worry darling!, I’m sure there’s something we can do. – She grabbed the shopping bags, got the green trousers with golden flowers embedded and said- It’s always a bit of luck we use the same size- And with a smile she handed him the trousers.